Remember Noodle the Pug? The now-sainted social media darling of the COVID era, Noodle would help everyone set their intentions for the day by determining whether it was a “Bones Day” or a “No-Bones Day.”
It has really been a No-Bones Week for yours truly.
Yesterday would have been pay day (Happy Belated Pay Day to all who celebrate btw), and not seeing the usual sum deposited, knowing full well we don’t even have enough for March rent without making a significant dent in our savings, has got me wrecked. And don’t even get me started on COBRA…just pray that neither my husband nor I gets sick or injured in the foreseeable future. What a racket.
The anger, the anxiety, the confusion — and those codsarn stress hives — are back.
There’s also some regret now (even though, in my logical brain, I would not have changed a thing about the time and influence I spent at my last job, the questions I asked, the expectations — and recommendations offered — for better).
Of course there’s also been plenty in the way of blessings large and small, planned and unplanned.
We’re receiving a significant tax refund from the Feds for 2024 (hopefully there is someone working at the IRS by the time said refund is processed). And also Missouri, which usually happens, but not at this amount. This was not expected (we roll the dice just like everyone else at tax time, but this time we listened to some people wiser and more experienced than us).
Also unexpected are the gift cards sent our way. The surprises in my Venmo account. And even still the texts, leads, the encouragement.
There is luckily some movement on the jobs front. I’m trying to stay cautiously optimistic — which for me right now is somewhere between acting like everything promised in this world is certain and utter despair.
Sadly, as I type, I’m feeling very much on the despair end of the spectrum. There were a lot — and I mean A LOT — of tears today for some reason. Just reminds me that grief is not linear.
And yet, who am I to feel especially pitiful? I’m one of tens of thousands of people laid off this month — people who also did nothing wrong but with bigger families, higher bills, more mouths to feed, and with jobs far more important than mine will ever be.
So for all you others rounding out a No-Bones Week, know that I see you and am shedding tears beside you.
musings of an everywoman 